Trust

Presently, I find myself in a whirlwind of emotions, a tug of war of sadness and happiness.  Times of change and times of growth are hardly easy, or seldom clear.  My latest tattoo is an hommage to the Universe's perfection:

I am constantly looking at my arm and embracing this motto.  It calms me, it makes me just ''go with the flow''.  I used to get major anxiety because I had such high expectations from myself, but no definite goal.  I knew I wanted to dance, sing, act, produce, design, own a business, buy a house, live in the USA, get married, have children, adopt, be wealthy, financially free, travel, but I didn't know which I'd do first, or even how I was going to do it.  All I knew is that I wanted it all.  And I wanted it IMMEDIATELY!  Of course I would just stress myself out and beat myself up for not being there yet.  Not being successful.  But successful according to who? According to my own judgments towards myself.  Taking a step back and looking at all my accomplishments I can say, I'm pretty darn successful.  And how grateful I am for it all, I am blessed.  

Now I know better and I understand that I am on my path.  I understand that life only will give me what I am ready to handle, ready to learn.  And with that knowledge I feel that my life is perfect.  Even when it falls apart.  However, the habit of judgement followed by anxiety and disappointment is constantly on standby, waiting for it's opportunity when I fail.  But forever marking Trust on my forearm reminds me that failing is learning, and in consequence failing is actually gaining.  So, wherever it is I'm trying to get, this perfect life, this successful ideal life, well, not to worry, I'm already there because I have trust.